This time last year I was going downhill fast. I thought it would be my last Christmas to be quite honest. I also was too sick to go my in-laws and my grandma’s which had always been big traditions in our family. I missed out on so much! I also don’t really remember Christmas or the months following that clearly. I remember doing a lot of online shopping, too much, and spending way too much money. I remember thinking if this was my last Christmas than I wanted to go out with a bang.
How dumb was that? I look back and realize that I was an absolute fool. Material items wouldn’t fill the void of my kiddos losing their mom. It just added stress to our household and it wasn’t worth it. Afterall, Christmas isn’t about gifts or material items. It’s about spending time with loved ones, making memories, and it’s about Jesus.
I really had my perspective and priorities skewed. But, in my defense I really didn’t think I would be here much longer.
So, after much healing and staying strict and diligent I am proud to say that this Christmas WILL be better. I will still overdo it, but I won’t go crazy spending money on materialistic items, I will go crazy spending time with my family and loved ones and be exhausted from it all, but it will be worth it.
I am getting so much better. I still spend my days consumed by detoxing, infusions, labs, and doctor appointments but I can see progress. I can see a “new” me. And that is the best Christmas present of all.
Try to remember if you celebrate Christmas that it isn’t about the gifts, it’s about family and be thankful for your health because it could be so much worse.
Squeeze your kiddos a little more and have patience with them. Embrace the chaos of the holiday traditions. Eat some goodies but don’t make yourself sick. Appreciate all that your family does for you and realize that one day they might not be around. Love everyone more and find fault in everyone less. And most importantly, be grateful.
I don’t know about you guys but I am so ready for 2016! I don’t regret anything about 2015 because it has made me stronger, brought me closer to Wes, has helped put life in perspective, helped me to prioritize, and most importantly, has helped me to be grateful for all things good and bad because God has a plan. I think He has a great plan for me and I can’t wait to get better so that I can go out and use the tools that He’s provided me. Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year!