Family and forgiveness…

Here’s the deal…typically my blogs are somehow related to Lyme and this one isn’t any different, but it’s actually more or less something I’ve come to realize from having Lyme. Honestly, this post will be a touchy subject for some and even possibly offensive to others. BUT, I can no longer be quiet about this issue. 

Having a chronic disease has taught me so many things, but one that trumps all other’s is that life is too short. We are really only here on earth for a brief period of time. In the grand scheme of things, you blink and it’s over. There are no guarantees and it’s presumptuous of you to believe otherwise. Being sick has opened my eyes and helped me realize that I should never take anything for granted. It also has helped me relaize what is important in life, and what isn’t. 

And most importantly, harboring bitterness or animosity is useless and hindering to anyone’s health or healing. And, before everyone jumps to conclusions, this post isn’t even really about me…it’s mainly about the people around me.  

I knew this issue existed before I was sick, but now I see people around me struggling and I want you to know that you need to forgive and let go. You need to remember why we are here and how short your life is. You need to prioritize and you need to realize that not everyone is like you and not everyone will agree with you, but that’s okay. It doesn’t mean anyone loves you less. You need to take that stubbornness and pride and throw it away, because it’s going to get you no where.  


We are all different, yet the same. It doesn’t matter if you are African American, Hispanic, Catholic, Muslim, Methodist, homosexual, straight, sick, healthy, married, divorced, skinny, fat, atheist, agnostic, vegan, vegaterian,  blonde, brunette, poor, rich, city slicker, or a farmer; God or those that surround you, should choose to love you unconditionally because despite our differences we are structurally the same for the most part with blood, bones, nerves, brains, muscles, eyes, etc. We really aren’t that different from one another.  
I happen to be a brunette, gluten fearing, Christian woman with a chronic illness, and I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I also believe that if Jesus was here today, he would be embarrassed of our actions and our judgmental ways. I was taught that He loved everyone no matter what. That a sin is a sin, no matter the magnitude. You may have your own beliefs and you may also choose to believe in nothing. That doesn’t mean that I am better than you or that you are better than me. It doesn’t mean that I should turn my back on you, or that you should turn your back on me.  

What it really means is that I need to humble myself, reflect, and realize that you are still my family/friend and that I still love you and I hope that you can love me. 

Some of you need to be reminded of this. Some of you need to open your hearts and your minds. We should never turn our backs on our family just because we don’t always agree with one another. Life is too short for this kind of behavior.  
I know we all can be stubborn and I know we don’t like to admit when we are wrong. But, suddenly your burdens have become my burdens. I hurt for everyone and I see so clearly now that we shouldn’t avoid one another, we shouldn’t hate one another, we shouldn’t judge one another…we should LOVE one another.  

It’s time to put the past behind us and move forward. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone is wrong. It takes a brave and courageous individual to admit that. It doesn’t do any good to avoid, belittle, or treat another human being like they don’t exist. We all exist!  

Sometimes it takes something tragic to help you see the light. Please don’t wait until it’s too late. Please don’t live a life of regret and bitterness. Please don’t let your pride stand in the way of what is REALLY important; forgiveness.  

I know I don’t have any siblings, but I know that if I did, I would love them no matter what. I might not agree with them, and I might get frustrated with them, but at the end of the day…they are my family and I would overlook their differences and hope that they could overlook mine.  

I know I can’t force anything upon anyone. But know this…your burdens have now become mine. I want to fix what is broken. I want to see unconditional love. I want to see forgiveness. I want to see you set a good example for my children, for your children, for our families, and for society. I want to see happy hearts and humbled souls.  

I would hope that we could overlook our differences and try to understand one another. And, after that if you still don’t understand their differences at least respect them. Relationships are getting destroyed, people are harboring so much anger and resentment towards one another, and to be quite frank, it’s embarrassing. 

Who taught us how to act like this? Who taught us that it was right to belittle people for their choices or differences? Where did this come from and why can’t we get over this way of thinking? 

You’ve decided to date/marry the same sex? Go for it. You choose to not believe in a higher power? Good for you. You choose to dye your hair and not find a job? Fine with me. You want to get a divorce? Do what you need to do. Because in the end, if you avoid all those people that have offended you by their choices…you will end up alone. 

Because at one point in your life, everyone will offend you. 

I get it, it’s much easier to stay angry and harbor animosity than it is to forgive. But, as Christians (since I am one I feel I can talk about this fairly) aren’t we supposed to be nonjudgmental, supportive, and kind to one another? Aren’t we supposed to forgive? I will be the first to tell you that I have judged people. I have assumed things. I am guilty. But I have forgiven those that have offended me because it’s exhausting trying to keep up. It’s so much easier to let it go and never pick it back up again. And I’ve forgiven myself for being that way.  

I have learned that no matter what I believe or what you believe, that Jesus would not approve of our actions that are made out of anger, spite, or judgement. I am not here to judge you, I am here for you. We live in America. I think I learned this in second grade, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” What makes you happy, may not make another person happy but we are all in this together whether you want to admit it or not. 

It’s up to you what your next steps are. I will support your decisions and love you always. I hope that this blog gets to those that need to hear it the most, and I hope that it speaks to you and that you feel that conviction to better yourself by letting go. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t spoken to in years. Email an old friend. Text your siblings because one day you will regret not doing so.  



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