But…you don’t look sick. 

If I had a quarter for every time someone told me that, I think I would be a millionaire. What exactly does sick look like? Does an alcoholic look sick? Does a diabetic look sick? Does someone suffering from manic depression look sick? Does someone with cancer look sick? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Every case is different. Everyone has their own story to be told.  

 
This is mine. No, I don’t look sick. But, if you could somehow look inside my body at my blood, organs, joints, muscles, etc. you would see one sick woman.    

Yes, I am getting better. Yes makeup is a wonderful thing. Yes, I am losing weight. Yes, I am actually getting healthier. But, I have now added 12 more pills a day since I have been home from treatment. I literally get tired from doing one load of laundry. If you haven’t read the Spoon Theory I highly suggest that you do. It’s a perfect explanation of what I have to go through every single day. What is most important, I have to prioritize because at the end of the day…I never have any spoons left. Check it out.  

The Spoon Theory

This isn’t a pity party, I don’t want your pity. I just want everyone to know that this disease is something I will have for the rest of my life. This disease is something that can flare up at any minute. I can go from having a completely almost “normal” day, to being bedridden a few hours later. 

      

Yes, I am sick. Yes, I am getting better. Yes, it will be a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life. Yes, I pray everyday that God will heal me and use me to help others.  

I know it’s hard and a lot of times people just don’t know what to say, so I want to thank you for your endless concern and support. 

I used to want to look sick. I even remember blogging about pulling a “Britney” and shaving my head, but now I am grateful that I don’t look sick. I don’t have people staring at me, and my kids don’t have to wonder why mommy looks different. 

I guess the old saying goes, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” 

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3 thoughts on “But…you don’t look sick. 

  1. I definitely can relate to your story and the spoon theory as well. Today is a rough day, but I did my makeup and i look awesome but feel really bad. Thanks for sharing your feelings, I dont feel so alone in this.

    Liked by 1 person

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