Hello…it’s been awhile. 

Well, I do believe it’s time for me to catch everyone up to speed. To be honest, it’s been a roller coaster ride since I’ve been home. Life is pulling me in 50 directions and I can’t seem to keep up. My daily regimen takes longer than I projected, leaving me with not much time to rest and relax, or spend it with friends and family.   

  

We unofficially have sold our house. I say unofficial because we haven’t closed on it and there have been a couple hiccups along the way, but the contract has been signed, the buyer has been approved, and he has placed his earnest money, but a lot can happen in the meantime. 

While this is an incredible blessing, it’s also added a lot of stress into our lives because we are now frantically searching for our own home in the Bethany area. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of options and it’s pretty hard not to get discouraged. 

I’ve also recently had some additional stress added onto my shoulders from someone who just can’t seem to “let it go” and MOVE on. I would love to say more, as you know, I am an open book, but this one I will have to keep to myself for a little while longer.  

   

Moving on, people keep asking me how I’m doing and how I’m feeling, and I wish sooooo badly I could say “wonderful!” But I’m just not there yet. When I came back home from treatment I thought I would have some time to heal and rest and heal and rest, but life has recently given us a very bumpy road to travel. The added stress of everything and the ability to not rest like the doctors wanted me to has taken a toll on me. I am still 100 times better than before treatment, but everyday I can feel my body getting weaker. My joints and muscles are getting stiffer and sorer. I’m also getting headaches more frequently too. My last blood test showed that my inflammation markers are through the roof. So, I’m taking more supplements and detoxing like crazy, but I still can’t seem to improve since I’ve been home. I feel like if I take one step forward I end up taking three steps back by the end of the day. 

It’s so easy to say…don’t worry…don’t be stressed. I know these things, and I know it doesn’t do me any good to worry, but that’s like telling someone like me not to breathe.    

  
But, I have to pick myself up and try to find the silver lining in all of this, and it’s been hard. I want to be positive. I want to give my burdens and worries to God. I know I need to, but that’s easier said than done.  

 
I am weak. I need help. I’m not superwoman. I wish I was stronger. I wish I had more faith. I wish I was improving faster. But, I also will not let Lyme Disease define me. 

   
One honest conclusion I have found through this journey is that life is tough.  

 

I’ve also been asking myself since I returned home…what is my purpose? Am I to be only a mother and a wife? Can I go back to teaching? What is my calling? What am I good at? How can I provide for my family when I still feel bad?  

   
So, for now, my silver lining is this…I’ve started an at home business to help myself feel like I can provide and that I can help contribute to my family financially. I’m hopeful with some hard work (while laying in bed) that I can help our family out. It’s my silver lining. It’s a nice distraction and I believe in the company and it’s values. 

 
I know Wes and I have had our fair share of stress, hurdles, and obstacles to overcome, especially this past year…but if we can remain positive and focus on the good I know we will be okay.  

So….New motto: Just take one day at a time, and that’s what I’ve been doing. Hopefully one day my new motto will be, just let the stress roll off your back! 

In case you haven’t seen my million and one posts about Nerium, here is my website: christinawise.nerium.com
Thank you always for your support! 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s