So, the planner in me just assumed that everything would go exactly the way that I planned it. I mean…isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? However, it was obvious from the minute we purchased our plane tickets that my plans and His plans were very different.
Now, here is where I could do the “woe is me, haven’t I been through enough crap to last a lifetime?” And believe me, I was there…but, I knew I needed to get out of that mindset and realize that I literally needed to take my own advice, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
The instant we bought our plane tickets my mom got sick and then a few days later I got sick. While, we were battling sickness in Arizona, Wes was getting sick back home. Then, Parker got a fever and then Amelia got a fever. Everyone was literally sick! That moment that I had played over and over in my head of Wes picking me up at the airport and us running to one another was quickly thrown out the window the morning of our flight when he called to tell me he couldn’t pick me up. By that time, Parker had been diagnosed with an ear infection and I knew Amleia needed to go the doctor too but when you are a single parent and sick that can be hard.
So, my dad picked us up. At this point, I was exhausted already, my whole body started aching and my legs became weak. Emotionally, it was a roller coaster ride for me…I didn’t even know how to feel.
Fortunately, my mom took Amelia to the doctor on Saturday and she had a double ear infection. Plus, she also fell on her hand and we were worried she had broken something. 24 hours later, she is fine.
I haven’t unpacked and there is literally nothing in the house I can eat. I need to go to the grocery store but it’s just so hard. I have no energy and my whole body hurts. I’ve also realized that if I do anything in the day, my maintenance plan gets thrown out the window.
There are challenges around every corner. It’s a looooooong journey, and like I said before, it’s only just beginning.
I literally spend 5 hours a day detoxing, taking meds, making and drinking shakes, trying to exercise, “taking coffee breaks” (only a few people will get that one) and it’s exhausting but I know how important it all is for my health.
Also, in the back of my mind I think about the kids. I know worrying is good for no one but what if they get so sick like I did? I would rather be sick forever than have them have to go through what I’ve been through. I know what you are thinking….we will cross that bridge when we get there, but it’s just such an awful feeling of helplessness.
So, needless to say coming home was hard. It’s was not how I planned or pictured, but we are all transitioning. I’ve got several doctor appointments lined up and I’m looking forward to a routine. The kids have adjusted well. They are just as sweet as I remembered and they have been so helpful and affectionate.
I can never thank my family and friends enough for all that you have done and continue to do. This journey has helped me grow, appreciate the small stuff, and realize that nothing can replace family. Our lives, healthy or not, are so short and we must take advantage of every moment we have because we never know when it may be our last.