As I sit here and write this I am feeling both saddened and blessed. I am saddened because today I heard a 45 year old man say, “that he used to pray for cancer instead of lyme because people acknowledged it’s exsistance.” How sad it is that a grown man, married with kids, prayed for cancer? And, how sad is it that I can totally relate to him?
Lyme disease is a horrible, intelligent disease. It’s tricky. It’s hard to test for, it’s hard to treat, and it’s even harder to explain what the body goes through when you have it. I will always hate my disease, but it is already blessing me in ways that I couldn’t be more grateful for.
For instance, tonight I got to speak to a man over the phone that lives around my hometown and I got to tell him all about Lyme disease. What it does, how it effects you, how to get tested, and so on. And without a doubt, I know that this incredibly nice man has Lyme disease. How unfortunate, but when he gets his tests back he will finally have the answers he been looking for. I pray that he has peace. I was so glad that I was able to help him. Help him find the right path to follow, point him in the right direction, and I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I didn’t have this disease myself. Someone else last week I know, found out they had Lyme disease and told me they only got tested because of me.
I know I’m pushy, sometimes overly obnoxious about spreading awareness, but I like to think that God gave me this opportunity so that I can help others get better. I know I couldn’t help myself get better, I was just too sick, but I’m able to help other people and that is such a blessing to me!
It’s so prominent in Illinois that it is absolutely terrifying to me! I can think of loved ones that I think have it, but how do I tell them that they should be tested? I’m not a doctor. I’ve just…been there done that. I pray that God gives me the strength to continue this fight, to help me help others, and to get this disease in remission so that I can focus on others instead of myself. I know in my head I need to focus on myself, but my heart always tells me differently. I guess it was the way I was made. One of my biggest strengths and biggest downfalls, I suppose.
So, today is a day of sadness and hope. Blessings and curses.
I thought I would share some funny pictures of “me” while my students went to New York and Philly. It looks like they had a blast and I got to be there afterall!