So many options…

So, my I talked to my Lyme specialist today on a conference call and he wants me to get a port put in for various IV Antibiotic treatments. I would have to go to the hospital for these and insurance wouldn’t cover most of it. It could last a year or four…no one knows. It will make me very very very sick though. I’ve already felt completely useless as a mom, mother, friend, and provider. Now, he wants me to get these injections for God knows how long and still be at home with my family, which will result in them seeing me very very sick and as a mom there is no way I want to put my family through that!

Now, the treatment center in Arizona will want to do the same thing, run some more tests, and give me buttloads of antibiotics and also natural homeopathic iv injections as well. I would have a port just like here but better treatment, more closely monitored, and able to focus solely on getting better. No distractions…no babies to pretend I’m fine in front of…and this treatment would be a total of 8-10 weeks versus years and years of suffering in front of my family, not supporting them financially, and knowing that it could or couldn’t help me in the end. 

Let’s review- both want ports and iv treatments. One protocol will last 8-10 weeks and one could last years and years. Arizona will be more thorough, and I will always be monitored, and I will have no responsibilities there except to heal. Staying home and getting weekly iv treatments will leave me sick and worthless at home. Where my family will have to see me pretend to be okay until I lose it and break down. I don’t want my children to see this. Some might ask….well just choose the cheaper one which is great in theory but then I won’t be able to work and I will be homebound and alone. How is that good for anyone!!!!??? Then I began comparing prices. 

It would cost around $2,000.00 a month to stay here and just get iv treatments done. I cannot work while I do this and it could last up to a year to God knows how long. I will be sick all the time. I won’t be a good mom, or wife, or a provider. Insurance won’t cover it because it is continuous antibiotics and they don’t recognize a need for that. AKA- the CBC is really evil and won’t recognize Chronic Lyme Disease as a serious illness. Not to mention supplements I would still be purchasing occasionally. So all in a all just a year here of treatments will cost at least $25,000.00 a year. And, you don’t want know what I have already spent on meds. 

Then I have Arizona. It would cost roughly anywhere from $50,000-80,000.00 for an 8-10 week treatment. Don’t get me wrong, that is outrageous and we don’t have that kind of money but knowing that I would get the help and medicine I really need instead of playing this guessing game we have been playing with…my life. To me, it just makes sense. I don’t know where I can get the money, maybe I could sell my hair and a kidney and everything I own because it’s all just stuff. Maybe I could shave my head and go all Britney Spears circa 2007. Maybe God will provide…I know that we will have to make sacrifices. And believe me, we already have but I can’t imagine coming back home and feeling better. It makes my heart sing and it makes me smile to imagine feeling “normal”. Sure, it may take awhile here to even feel like myself again but to spare my children of this extreme agony is worth more to me than anything. I would do anything for them and my hubby. 

So in conclusion, life is not fair. Money sucks. Lyme Disease sucks more. But, there is hope if I can make it happen. And, in the end both treatments would total out to be about the same cost. To me, it’s a no brainer. 

I have been sick far too long to let this disease run and rule my life anymore. It’s time I took back my life and be there for my kids and my family like it’s supposed to be. 

Here are a couple examples of what the port would be like. I just can’t imagine having something like this for years! 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s